choices reveal our desires // 01.29

"Choices. . . . reveal our desires. Sometimes the desires they reveal have no moral or spiritual consequences . . . Other times, the desires revealed by our choices have a profound spiritual result: Our taste for obedience is exposed. . . . Our deepest loves come to the surface in the choices we make. Even when we deny our strong desires, we demonstrate that we must have had even stronger ones directing our choices. . . .
"Have you struggled with an addictive behavior? Have you repeated the same sin over and over? Understand the statement you are making when you indulge in it: You prefer the passing pleasure of a sinful desire to the fellowship that comes from obedience. It's a revealing choice. Refuse to be trapped by it. Let righteousness—an unrivaled desire for God—deliver you."

I have found myself trapped in a rather silly but nonetheless addictive behavior lately: playing Scrabble on my iPod every night before bed. I have felt God nudging me to pray and read the Bible at the end of the day, but most of the time, I have pushed aside that desire to play a game that ultimately frustrates me and leaves me less fulfilled than when I started. And to make it even crazier, I find myself seeking approval from the game. You see, the computer can show you when you have played a good word and let you know when you could have played something for better points. It does this with a little face that smiles big when you play a good word. I find myself wanting to get that face to smile—I want the satisfaction that comes from a computer game telling me I was smart! How crazy is that? And how pathetic. I have to stop this behavior. Tonight will be the night I do so. This devotional could not have come at a better time to remind me of the foolishness of my recent behavior.

"Let righteousness—an unrivaled desire for God—deliver you."